


invisible to the eye

by azrail



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Coming Out, Coming of Age, Eventual Smut, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Humor, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, POV Third Person, Poetic, Romance, Sad, Slow Build, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, sick!Eren
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-03-21 12:54:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13741308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/azrail/pseuds/azrail
Summary: Eren Jaeger has a new heart after a transplant that saved his life. Everything seems to be going smoothly until he starts recieving the memories of his doner. In the memories, he sees a mysterious man who takes over his consciousness and Eren can't stop thinking about him. It's up to Eren to find who this person is and to learn the story of the heart that now beats inside his chest.





	1. these are the secrets

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: This fic is inspired by The Forgetting by Nicole Maggi. 
> 
> I've had the idea for this story since I was 13. I have always wanted to write something ereri and finally have found the motivation to write. This is my first fic on AO3, so I hope everything goes smoothly. 
> 
> I have a small idea as to where this story will go, but I am kinda just seeing where it will take me as I add more and more chapters. 
> 
> Well hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing! :)

_Forgive me. Forgive me._

_These are the secrets._

 

The first thought that came to Eren Jaeger when he woke up in the hospital room, was that he forgot to hand in his permission form for his class’s field trip to the national gallery next week. His teacher reminded the whole class, that Thursday was the last day to hand in their forms, but Eren guessed that Thursday was already far gone. 

Great. 

The second thought that came to Eren’s head was that this hospital room was different than the ones he usually stayed in. There was usually a bright window with chairs his family would sit on, as they talked to him from the bed. The walls would be painted some baby blue colour, and when Eren would change his line of vision, he could peak out into the busy hallway watching other patients move along, or nurses chatting with other nurses. The gentle sound of his sister’s voice lulling him back to sleep, his head fuzzy with the many pain medications. Eren hated hospitals, but still always felt safe in them. 

But this one was different. 

The light was much harsher, but dull at the same time. The walls looked to be an ugly beige colour and were the exact opposite of comforting. There was no smiley pretty nurse walking into his room, gently talking to him. There were no chairs where he could look over to see his worried but happy family. No balloons or candy from his friends. There was nothing.

There was nothing until Eren finally came to realize that there was something in the inside of his throat. He slowly reached a hand up to his mouth, feeling the tube that was shoved down his esophagus. He began to panic, gagging on the thing until another person finally entered the room, telling him to calm down and that he was okay. 

“Eren. Eren, it’s me. You’re alright kid, I’m right here.”

He recognized that deep voice instantly. That voice that when he snapped at other doctors or nurses sounded like crumbling mountains. Eren nodded into his pale blue eyes, his gagging subsiding, and panic decreasing. 

“Look, it’s just a ventilator. It’s not going to hurt you, it’s to help you breathe.” Dr. Smith said, gently easing Eren’s hands down to his sides, so they weren’t clawing at his throat. Eren let out a whimper of discomfort but kept his eyes focused on the doctor. 

Dr. Smith smiled once more, rubbing his shoulder. “You’re alright bud. You’re gonna be alright.” He kept repeating over and over. Eren shot him an annoyed look. He understood he was going to be alright he was in a hospital for fuck’s sake, but he still felt comforted by his doctor’s attempted counseling. 

Dr. Smith had been treating him ever since he was a baby, and did the majority of his operations. He even was his mother’s doctor before she passed away. Over the years he had become a crucial figure in Eren’s life. Even though he knew it was hard for the anti-social surgeon to talk with people, he always made the effort with Eren, and the boy always appreciated that. 

“I’ll be able to take it out soon, but I need to make sure you’re okay.” Dr. Smith said, gently pushing his body back down on the bed. “Steph, can you go fetch his dad?” 

Eren didn’t even notice that there was another person in the room as he looked over at the nurse who was nodding quickly, then left the room. 

“It will all be explained, just wait a little longer.” Dr. Smith was mumbling, running a hand through his blond hair that was in definite need of a trim. Eren couldn’t help but notice the purple bags under his eyes that looked kinda like bruises. He knew the surgeon worked himself too hard, being the best cardiac surgeon in Shiganshina, that sleep just wasn’t a luxury he had. Eren knew he was probably the cause of his most recent stress, and couldn’t help but make a sound of sympathy. 

Dr. Smith began patting his leg again. “Everything is alright Eren. You just had a major operation.”

Oh so that’s what happened, Eren thought to himself. He knew he was victim of some sort of surgery, but he had to admit that he hadn’t had one of this caliber in quite some time. No wonder he woke up in the strange room and was being taken care of by Dr. Smith himself. 

“Oh my god, Eren!” He heard someone cry out. He turned to the door and was faced with the funny looking sight of his father. He looked like Dr. Smith but if he also got into a car crash on the way here. The ponytail he usually wore was tied messily, and static pieces of hair were standing up like he violently rubbed a balloon against his scalp. His round spectacles were smudged, and he was wearing a face mask accompanied by a hospital gown. 

His father slowly approached Eren’s bed, like one would with a wild animal. He was wringing his hands nervously in front of him, as he searched Eren’s eyes for anything. Eren tried to tell his father he was okay, but the ventilator clogging his airway prevented him from doing that. 

“Jesus Christ, Eren. You’re okay.” His father held him in an awkward embrace, due to the various monitors and machines everywhere. Eren felt warm tears plop on him, but he just closed his eyes and let himself be held by his father. 

His father finally let go, giving him another teary smile and taking off his glasses so he could rub his wet eyes. He turned over to Dr. Smith who was now standing still close to the bed, but far enough so the father and son could have their space. “Thank you, Erwin. I don’t know what I would have done without him.” 

Dr. Smith just smiled, coming back close to the bed. “It was no trouble Grisha. I’m glad the operation went smoothly.” He squeezed his friend’s shoulder as the man continued to wipe his eyes. 

Eren looked at the two men, still feeling dazed and confused. He patted his father’s hand to gain his attention. His father’s eyes jumped to him, wide and worried, almost like he forgot he was there. Eren reached his hand up and pointed to the ventilator, pleading with his eyes. 

“Erwin, take that thing out now.” His father said, squeezing Eren’s hand. 

Dr. Smith looked skeptical at first, but then nodded motioning for the nurse, and for Eren’s dad to move out of the way. 

“Okay, Eren I’m just going to take it out. It will be uncomfortable, but just hang in there.” Dr. Smith removed the air from the inflated gas on the tube and removed the tape that held the tube in place. Grabbing his chin with one hand, Dr. Smith gently removed the tube from his airway, pulling it out. The feeling wasn’t painful for Eren but made him cough like crazy and grabbed the side of the bed in a panic. 

“It’s out now.” Dr. Smith said as he handed the cursed thing to the nurse who in turn handed him a nasal cannula. The doctor put in on Eren, as Grisha rushed back to his son’s other side, rubbing his hand as he continued to cough. 

The coughing subsided, and all that was left was just a sore, burning feeling in his throat. He attempted to clear his throat, but that didn’t do anything to ease the sensation.

“My throat hurts.” He croaked to Dr. Smith. If his voice could be mowed down by a lawnmower and then put in a paper shredder, that’s exactly how he sounded. He was surprised that both men heard him, for he spoke in barely a whisper. 

“That’s normal Eren, we can give you something to help numb it.” Dr. Smith replied, ignoring that glare he was receiving from Grisha. “How are you otherwise?” 

Whatever medication they put Eren on, it still was lingering since he wasn’t sure how to answer that question. He felt no pain, but his chest did feel strange like there was extra weight on it. 

He pointed at his chest and told the doctor about the weight. Dr. Smith nodded, his eyes flicking back and forth between the monitors and Eren. “Everything is looking good so far.” Dr. Smith said under his breath and wrote a few things down on a clipboard.

“What happened anyway?’’ Eren whispered, his throat still raw and horsed beyond belief. “I’m not sure.”

Dr. Smith and his dad exchanged looks before his dad nodded and squeezed his son’s hand again so he would look at him. 

“You had an operation Eren,” Starting off slowly, scanning his son’s eyes for emotions. Eren gave him an annoyed look because that much was obvious. He thought his dad smiled as well, but his mouth was still covered by the face mask. Grisha always had difficulty with the whole talking thing. He was a great dad, but sometimes, like Eren, he had difficulty explaining things or just simply did not know what to say. That was always Eren’s mother’s thing. She could convince anyone of anything and always knew what to do. Eren would always go to her with his problems and questions, no matter how trivial they seemed because his mother would always be able to fix it. 

At that moment Eren missed her. This was the first surgery he had since her death. Every time he would wake from the anesthesia, she would be sitting right next to him. Her amber eyes shining brightly as she kissed and hugged her son. Her dark hair always smelled good, and she always wore the most beautiful dresses and jewelry. She was just so bright and colourful, and she was Eren’s most favourite person in the whole world.

Eren knew his father tried very hard to be the substitute for his mother, but sometimes it just didn’t work. Watching his father try and explain what had happened, made Eren feel overwhelmed, He felt tears prick his eyes as he tried to escape, but the jilting of his body caused an intense shrill of pain shove itself straight into his chest. All Eren could do was gasp in pain, as the tears now fell freely down his cheeks. He clutched at his hospital gown right over his heart area, his ears ringing and blocking out whatever was being said to him. 

He felt someone touch one of the IVs on his arm, and suddenly his bloodstream was hit with warmth, swimming through his veins. The pain in his chest disappeared quickly, and Eren sighed with pleasure. Sweet, sweet morphine. 

His senses slowly came back to him, now watered down by the drug. He looked over to his father, who had taken his mask off in panic, and was staring at Eren his eyes as wide as saucers. 

“That better?” Dr. Smith asked him, on his other side next to the IV. He had a tissue in his hand and was wiping away the wetness on Eren’s cheeks. 

 

“Much better,” Eren said, his voice even getting slightly better. A shot of morphine really does wonders. Dr. Smith smiled at him, then turned to frown at the monitors, who were beeping in protest, but slowly died down. Eren turned back to his father, whose colour seemed to be returning, his breathing slow as he rubbed circles into Eren’s hand with his finger. 

The room was silent for a few minutes as Dr. Smith wrote a few things down, his bushy eyebrows still turned down in a frown. Eren just kept his mind focused on his father’s hand, and the feeling of the morphine, making him feel physically numb and like he was some sort of celestial being that would float away any second. 

“Try not to move suddenly like that again Eren.” Dr. Smith finally said, turning his attention back to him. Eren gave him a small sheepish smile. 

“What was the last thing you remember Eren?” His father asked next to him. Eren turned his head to him, his eyebrows up in confusion. 

“It’s hard to say, I guess I just remember eating dinner with you and Mikasa.” 

Grisha nodded, then sighed deeply. He opened his mouth many times, to try and say something but nothing came out. Eren waited for something more, but there wasn’t anything until Dr. Smith responded to his silent pleas beside him. 

“The pneumonia you had, got really bad Eren.” He started, coming around to the side where Grisha was sitting on the bed. 

Right. Pneumonia. Eren remembered how he was off for almost a week but then felt bad about missing so much school and decided to go in on Wednesday. Big mistake apparently, because by period two he felt like absolute shit and just went home. Of course, during all that, he forgot to hand in that permission form. Fucking typical. 

“With your condition, plus the sickness, your heart ended up failing, and you were rushed to the hospital for an emergency operation. We almost lost you.” Dr. Smith told him, sitting down at the edge of the bed next to Eren’s feet. 

Both Grisha and Dr. Smith looked at him expectantly, waiting for some sort of shock to come in, or some negative reaction, but Eren just kept on nodding numbly like a bobblehead. 

“Luckily, a new heart came in and we were able to use it to save you.” 

Eren lifted his hand to his chest, and gently brushed his fingertips against where his heart would be. All he felt was a layer of gauze there, covering up everything. He had a heart transplant? His old heart was gone? 

“Who… whose heart is it?” Eren asked, his hand still pressed over his heart like it needed protecting. Wait, not his heart. 

“I don’t know. All we know is that it was the perfect fit for you, and we needed to use it to save your life.” Eren knew Dr. Smith was lying, that as his doctor of course he knew who the donor was, but I guess he thought the information was unnecessary. 

Eren fell quiet again, trying to process everything. He could have died. Someone else’s heart is now beating inside of him. Slowly memories of that Wednesday night began to come back. He was laying in bed on his computer after dinner, and he couldn’t breathe. Then Mikasa was standing over him, calling for their father as she frantically dialed 911. 

Poor Mikasa. She’s already been through a lot. He felt bad for his father as well. He couldn’t imagine what it must feel like to think you are gonna lose two of your loved ones. Eren squeezed his father’s hand. 

“You will get through this kid.” Dr. Smith said to him, Eren’s silence not going unnoticed. “No way in hell are you dying on us. You’re too strong for that.” Eren smiled up at Dr. Smith, and the doctor returned it, patting his foot. 

“We are going to make this whole process very easy. For the both of you.” The surgeon turned to Grisha. “Recovery can be hard, but we will discuss everything when the time comes. For now, I think you should get some more rest. Maybe wait for some of that morphine to wear off.” Dr. Smith chuckled noticing Eren’s very dilated pupils. 

Dr. Smith got up and ruffled Eren’s hair. “Go to sleep kid. We’ll move you into a nicer room soon. I just want to monitor how your new heart is doing for a little while longer.” Eren nodded, his eyes becoming heavier his mind fuzzy with the need for more sleep. Eren saw Dr. Smith tilt his head to the door, motioning for Grisha to follow him. His father kissed Eren’s hand, before getting up as well and following Dr. Smith out the door. 

Eren didn’t necessarily want to go to sleep, but he wanted an escape from reality for just a little while longer. He just didn’t want to think about what happened, and he just wanted to pretend that everything was normal before he had to deal with more medications, doctors, and nurses. 

He leaned back even more into his pillow, his eyes fluttering close; the beeping from the monitors acting as a lullaby for him to sleep. His mind was beginning to go blank, and he was almost in a full on sleep mode when suddenly his consciousness lit up, and an image flooded his mind.

It was not a dream. It was much more different than that. It was like some sort of sudden memory that comes to you out of the blue, and rocks your whole body.

Eren saw a man. Onyx hair, in a bold undercut. Grey eyes looking into him. Porcelain skin.  
Eren shot up right, the beeping of the monitor spiking as well, as he breathed heavily clutching the gown over the pounding heart. He had never seen that person before. What just happened? Such a beautiful sight made the heart inside of him pound with madness. 

Eren continued to breathe slowly, trying to regain the calmness which he had lost. 

Who was that? 

A voice filled his mind. A beautiful voice that sounded like no one he had ever heard before. A gentle voice, but deep like an ocean storm. A voice that made Eren’s breath hitch. 

_These are the secrets._


	2. strawberries & forgiveness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW! I just tried to post this chapter, but AO3 crashed and all my work was erased....  
> BUT I AM HERE NOW
> 
> Sorry for such a long wait! Man, school is tough. All my time has been focused on doing work. 
> 
> But now... I have a week off from school! I finally have time to post a chapter, and I'm so glad. 
> 
> Yeah, not sure how I feel about this chapter. Didn't go exactly as I planned but oh well. I am trying to improve as a writer, so I promise upcoming chapters will be even better as I develop my skills. 
> 
> I'm just trying to kick-start the plot. Things are gonna get real juicy.
> 
> I do have a plan with this. Just bear with me lmao. 
> 
> Thank you all so much for your amazing support last chapter! I love this community so much. You lot are amazing. 
> 
> Anyway, because I am on break expect an update reaaaalllly soon. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy, and see you next time!

It took around a week but Eren was finally able to change hospital rooms into one much more comfortable. After his surgery, he had to stay in a very sterile room to prevent from getting sick since Dr. Smith said even a common cold could be dangerous to his body while he was healing. For the most part, it sucked. He was allowed no visitors, (except his father who had to wear a mask around him at all times) and he couldn’t have any good food. All the food was smashed up and injected into him like he was some sort of plant.

Complete. Utter. Boredness. Eren craved to do anything. All he did was sleep and get high from morphine it seemed. He was even willing to do school work by the end of the long week in that sterile room.

When he was finally rolled out from the room in a gurney by Dr. Smith, he lifted his fist up in the air in victory making the doctor roll his eyes. Dr. Smith led him into the elevator and let him push the button to the designated floor since he’s let Eren do that ever since he was three years old. It was pretty childish, but Eren was just itching to do anything at that point. Even pressing buttons.

Eren smiled widely as he entered his new hospital room. It was just like the rooms he was usually used to. There was the baby blue walls, T.V, big window, and loads of flowers and gifts left for him that his friends have been dropping off the past week.

God, Eren missed his friends. He wished he could have told them more about what had happened. They must be worried sick. He smiled at the sunflowers next to his bed. Those must be from Mikasa. There was a giant teddy bear that must have been from Armin, and a pink balloon with the words “It’s a girl” floating near his window. Fucking Jean.

“Quite the stash you got there.” Dr. Smith smiled, as Eren relaxed into his new bed. Everything about Eren felt better, even Dr. Smith didn’t look as sleep deprived as he did last week. His eyes much brighter, but still always burning with that fierce fire.

Eren was just about to ask him if he was allowed to have visitors when a low but soft voice interrupted them. “Eren.” He knew that voice anywhere.

He turned to the door to see his sister standing there. Her jet black hair blended itself into her jacket, but a pop of red was peeking out from the closed zipper. Eren couldn’t believe that almost a decade later she still wore that thing. Her equally dark eyes stared right through him, her eyebrows knitted in a small frown. Like everyone else here, below her eyes was red puffed skin like she had not slept in days. Knowing her, that was probably true. Even though she looked exhausted, Eren could see how tensed up her shoulders were, and he could almost feel her anxiety from where he was sitting.

She was completely on edge and looked like she was going to punch the next person who entered the room.  
Eren lifted his hand to give her a small wave, his mouth perking up into a small smile. Her stance seemed to crumble at that, as her eyes began to water and she ran into his arms, a small sob escaping her.

They put their arms around each other, Eren felt himself beginning to cry as he breathed in the smell of his sister. She continued to sob into his neck like she did all those years ago when they first met.

Eren couldn’t imagine what she must have gone through. So many people in her life had died and he was so close to leaving her too. He squeezed her harder, remembering the time when they were eight, clutching each other and never letting go.

“Please don’t ever do that to me again.” She mumbled into his shoulder, voice still laced with tears but harsh nonetheless. Eren let out a giggle, as he tried to rub some of his tears away. “I won’t.”

Soon after they let each other go, and Mikasa sat on his bedside. Dr. Smith gave Mikasa a box of tissues, giving her a warm smile. Eren thought he saw some tear tracks down the doctor’s eyes but he must have just been imagining.

“How are you feeling?” Mikasa asked, dabbing her eyes with the tissue, as her eyes scanned his whole body.

Eren shrugged. “Not too bad, it’s been getting better every day. Just feels weird.” Eren reached inside his hospital shirt, and gently brushed his fingertips against the scar. His fingers moved down the bumpy skin that reached halfway down his torso. He felt for the staples that Dr. Smith said would dissolve on their own. His fingers came back to lay on the heart. The organ seemed to beat strongly, at a steady metronome pace. Eren thought he felt the skin underneath begin to heat up. He rubbed at the skin as his heart began to beat louder and louder, the scar warming up, the beating becoming faster. Eren didn’t dare let out a breath, because all he could do was listen, and listen.

_These are the secrets._

“Eren?” Eren jumped, staring wide-eyed at Mikasa. “Eren, are you alright? Do you need me to get Dr. Smith?” Huh. Eren didn’t even notice that he left. Mikasa was talking to him like he was some wild animal, her voice calm but he knew her well enough that he could hear it shake in fear.

“Sorry. Lost in thought I guess.” He smiled at her, removing his hand from underneath his shirt. For some reason, he shivered when his fingertips were removed from the heart. Mikasa seemed to notice, and she lifted his blanket over his shoulders. She gave him a small smile, but her eyes still swam in pools of worry.

“Anyway, what’s going on with you? What have I missed this past week?” Eren asked her, leaning back into his pillow. Mikasa looked at him, but then understood and began talking about school, and their friends. Eren tried to hang onto her words as much as he could, he tried to grasp onto their meaning, but he felt himself drifting. _These are the secrets._ What did that mean? The same voice he heard a week ago was back. He thought he was just high on a lot of morphine when he heard it for the first time, but he was hardly on intense painkillers now. He was always a fast healer, and his chest didn’t hurt as much as it did last week.

Maybe he still needed time to process what happened. Did he just have some weird PTSD? Eren thought that was strange since he hardly had any memories of what happened. Was it silly how he felt somewhat uncomfortable with the idea of someone else’s heart in him? Someone had to die, just so he could live. This heart used to pump blood in someone else. Did the person ever get their heart broken? Was it a good heart. Did they care for others?

 _Did they once love_ with _it?_

Eren just felt like an intruder. He took something so precious from somebody else. Something so vital, something so important…

He should definitely go see his therapist once he was discharged.

He just felt on edge. Like he was missing something. He craved something, but he did not know what.

He craved someone.

Was it his mother? No, that didn’t seem right. Not his father, he has seen him every day. It can’t be Mikasa. Then who was it? Who did he miss so much that it hurt?

Why did the heart violently pump inside of him, begging for that someone? That someone that Eren couldn’t seem to remember…

“EREN!” Speaking of people with crazed minds, Eren’s favourite nurse bounced into the room, yelling out his name in excitement. Even Mikasa jumped, her breath hitching as she stopped talking about whatever she was telling Eren. Eren felt bad that he didn’t catch on to anything that she said, and he was surprised that she didn’t notice he was not paying attention…

“Zoe…” Eren heard Dr. Smith’s warning voice from outside in the hallway. “What did I say about keeping our patients calm?”

Hanji gave an apologetic smile to both Mikasa and Eren, and she waited for the heart monitor to calm down before she began talking again, this time very quietly.

“Eren. It is so good to see you’re doing well!” She excitedly whispered coming close to his side. “The whole staff was worried about you, I’m glad everything has gone smoothly.”

_Sure. Smoothly._

Eren considered asking her about what he was feeling but then decided against it.

He gave her a smile. “It’s good to see you too, Hanji.”

Hanji grinned at him, looking around his room. “Well, would you look at all those presents!” She clapped her hands, eyeing one of the chocolate boxes. She turned back to him. “You’re definitely a popular guy, any girlfriend yet?”

Mikasa snorted, and Eren kicked her in the arm. “No, I guess not.”

“You guess?” Hanji laughed, her eyes twinkling underneath her spectacles.

Eren nodded. It also probably wasn’t a good time to mention that he still had a questioning sexuality.

“Oh well. You’re still young.” She drawled off as Dr. Smith entered the room. She gave him a lopsided smile, and the doctor gave her a frown, but Eren could see he was forcing himself not to smile back. _Could those two just please go on a date already._

“Anyway, you must be famished! Eating all that gross mush, we should get you something yummier!” Hanji clapped her hands excitedly again, and Eren couldn’t help but get excited as well. Man, did he miss actual food.

“How does a milkshake sound?” Hanji asked, and Eren nodded happily. Hanji’s milkshakes were literal heaven on earth.

“Does Dr. Smith approve?” Mikasa asked, looking over at him. Usually, Eren would tell her to stop worrying, but there was that one time a few years ago Hanji gave him a milkshake right after a surgery and he ended up projectile vomiting over himself and Dr. Smith. Yeah, Hanji’s milkshakes can be dangerous. Eren is pretty sure they are just ice cream blended with sugar, but Hanji was the only other person he knew, besides himself, who would actually eat that.

Dr. Smith gave a thumbs up, and Hanji let out a cheer. “What flavour you feel like today, Eren?” She asked.

“Strawberry!” He beamed up at Hanji, but her grin collapsed suddenly as she gave him a confused look.

“What?” He asked, turning to look at Mikasa who was giving him the same look. The comforting atmosphere in the room faded as soon as it appeared. What was the problem?

“Eren, you do know you’re allergic to strawberries, right?” Dr. Smith cautiously said, his eyes flickering over to the dumbfounded Hanji.

“The fuck?” Eren couldn’t help but let out a swear. “I love strawberries!” He said, looking at them all in annoyance. What were they playing at? Eren couldn’t be allergic, he had such a strong craving for the fruit, they were literally his favourite food.

“Eren. Don’t you remember? You are _very_ allergic. You have to keep an EpiPen with you at all times.” Dr. Smith was right near his bed again, looking deep into Eren’s eyes like there might be something wrong.

“That… that can’t be true… I eat them all the time…” He looked to Mikasa for help, who just blinked at him.

Dr. Smith placed his hand on his forehead checking to see if he had a fever, while Hanji stayed close behind him, a guilty look in her eyes.

“Remember that time when we were 10 at Jean’s birthday party and the cake we were eating had some traces of strawberries in it? You weren’t breathing and we couldn’t find your EpiPen, and we had to take you to the hospital…” Mikasa had a pained look in her eyes, and she couldn’t finish the story. But suddenly Eren remembered. He remembered struggling to breathe in his mother’s arms, while she tried to calm him, soothing his back and hair, telling him to focus on her voice…

“Oh.” Eren didn’t know what to say. He felt his cheeks flush as he avoided the eye contact of everybody in the room. How could he possibly forget that? Of course he was allergic, he has spent his whole life trying to avoid strawberries at all costs.

But at the same time, he remembered loving them. He could feel the delicious taste of them in his mouth; he could picture himself eating them. Yet he never had been able to finish a whole strawberry before in his life.

“I think I’m just really tired.” He mumbled as Dr. Smith lifted his hand off his forehead. “Drugs, or somethin’ I guess.” He gave a pathetic half smile to Dr. Smith, who looked like he wanted to say something more, but he just sighed running his hand through his hair.

“Alright kid, I’ll go get your dad for you.” He gave one last look to Hanji and Mikasa before he left the room.

Eren turned to look at Hanji who seemed so uncomfortable where she was standing. Eren felt bad for her and told her to get him a vanilla milkshake. She quickly smiled, not as bright as before, and went out of his room to go get it.

“Would you like me to stay, Eren?” He turned to look at Mikasa, who also looked uncomfortable where she was sitting. Her right leg was bouncing on the floor, her shoulders rigid and tense.

Eren nodded and moved down to get more comfortable on the pillow. He just wanted to escape for a bit longer, get out of this reality for a few hours. He did not want to be alone though. He let out a sigh as Mikasa traced small circles on his leg, his eyes fluttering.

“Take a small nap.” He heard his sister say. “I’ll still be here when you wake up.” He would never not be comforted by her presence, she was his best friend and she was the only thing that seemed to be constant in his life.

Despite her warm and welcoming aura, he still felt odd. There still seemed to be something wrong with him, and he didn’t know what. Maybe some more sleep will do me good… Eren thought as he began to drift to another place, somewhere far from this hospital room, far from anywhere Eren knew…

 

* * *

 

_The girl with the strawberry blonde hair walked into the dark room. Her bronze eyes scanned the area until they landed on who she was looking for._

_The man sat there on the piano seat, his fingers on the keys but not moving. He was looking out the window next to him, staring at the starry night. He felt her presence in the room, and he slowly turned his black eyes to look at her._

_“Do you ever feel like something bad is going to happen?” He asked the strawberry blonde girl. It was hard to see him in the early morning darkness, but it was almost like his eyes were darker than the absence of light around him. She felt the orbs stare at her._

_“What’s wrong?” She approached him, but slowly. She could not read the man, she simply could not. He had so many barricades up in his mind that_ were _not open to anybody. She just wanted a glimpse inside…_

_“Like something bad is going to happen, and you have the power to stop it. But you just can’t.” The eyes left her, the orbs turned to look back out at the stars in the sky._

_“You don’t have to do this alone.” She laid her hand to rest on his shoulder. He tensed at her touch, but then let himself relax. The man closed his eyes as he placed his hand on top of hers._

_“I wish it was that simple. But it is my job, it is what I have to do.” He got up from the piano seat and turned to face the strawberry blonde girl._

_He cupped her cheek in his hand, his finger rubbing her chin. “I brought this on myself. I need to own up to this. Forgive me.” His warm hand left her face. He turned to walk out of the room, and all the girl wanted to do was yell at him, to scream at him, to hit him, to do anything. But she could not move. She was frozen without his warmth._

_“Levi.” She whispered, and the man stopped._

_“These are the secrets. I must live with them.” And with that, he left the room._


	3. wild is the wind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear to god I am going to finish this fanfiction. If it's the last thing I do. I am sorry to have such a long hiatus from this, I know a lot of you were waiting for the next chapter. I promise that this whole story will be written though, just please bear with me. 
> 
> On that note, I hope you enjoy this new chapter. It was very relaxing to write. I feel as if my head is a bit more clear now.

“Mikasa, I don’t need to be in this stupid thing!” Eren banged his arm against the arm of the wheelchair like a 2-year-old as Mikasa continued to roll him down the hallway. Almost another week later, Eren was finally allowed to leave the hospital.

Words couldn’t describe how excited he was. It was silly, but he honestly thought that this day would never come. He had been in this godforsaken place for more than two weeks, and he felt as if the smell of hand sanitizer was beginning to seep into his skin.

To say that he bugged Dr. Smith was a bit of an understatement. He was an utter pain in the ass. Every time the poor doctor would see him, Eren would beg to go back home. He knew the doctor felt bad, but every single time he still refused. A few days in the evening, the doctor would give in though and would take Eren outside to get some fresh air. There was a nice sitting place for patients and their families to walk through, and Dr. Smith and him would sit there and chat. Sometimes Hanji would swing by to, but for the most part, it was just the two of them. Eren would watch the night wind blow through the trees and through his hair. He would wrap his blanket tighter around him, as he lifted his feet out from the hospital slippers and rub his toes in the gravel.

He would breathe a sigh of relief as Dr. Smith would just sit next to him on the bench quietly. Eren would think about getting up and walking by himself across the perimeter of the area but knew Dr. Smith wouldn’t let him. Instead, he brought his sketchbook out with some pencil crayons and would just sketch.

He would sometimes see Dr. Smith peak at what he was drawing from the corner of his eye, but he never asked to see it. That’s what he always appreciated about the doctor. That even though Eren was stuck here, he was allowed his privacy.

The time outside were the best parts of Eren’s days spent there. Although he had friends visit him almost every day, and even though his dad and Mikasa were with him during the day, he enjoyed his alone time. He always tried to take some time out of his busy school life to read or sketch, and when he was too weak to even do that he would feel very overwhelmed.

And despite the fact that Dr. Smith was keeping him company, he didn’t mind the quiet man’s presence. He would sometimes glance at him and see his eyes closed; almost as if he was sleeping. Eren knew he wasn’t actually though.

Sometimes the doctor would ask him questions though. “How’s the pain?” Eren would usually respond that it wasn’t that bad, which was mostly true. There was a certain dull but throbbing ache that seemed to always linger in his chest, but there seemed to be nothing to do about that. He was just glad it didn’t feel like an elephant wasn’t sitting on him anymore. Eren was grateful for the amazing care he had at the hospital. It was hard to believe that at a moment of time he had no heart in his chest, and all that was in him was a gaping cavity.        

A gaping cavity that was then filled with a foreign organ. An organ that shouldn’t have been there naturally. A new heart, just for him.

“What was their name?” He would sometimes ask Dr. Smith. “How did they die? How old were they?”

The doctor would just look at him with a sorry look. “I understand why you want to know, Eren. It wouldn’t be right for me to say though.”

Eren would nod his head but was never satisfied.

The night before Eren was going home, he interrogated the doctor once more. Once again, he got nothing. Eren sighed and flipped through his sketchbook, not feeling like drawing. He turned to the page at the very front where there was a charcoal sketch of his mother. He had drawn this sketch back when she was still alive. He had asked her to pose for him while they were vacationing in Mexico.

He remembered how modest of a woman she was, and she would huff and tell him that she didn’t look nice. He kept insisting, telling her how that wasn’t true at all. That she was the most beautiful woman he has ever known, and it was true. She finally gave in though and sat herself at an empty cafe they came across. She leaned her head on her palm and turned her body to look away from him. Her dark hair streamed behind her, on her shoulder and her back.

She was absolutely stunning. She and Eren sat at that cafe for hours; ignoring texts from his dad and Mikasa asking where they were. He just sat and drew her, trying to catch every detail. Trying to move quickly, but slow and precise at the same time.

Eren didn’t know what he was trying to prove. He wanted that sketch to be perfect, to show something to his mother, to show that she was stunning. She was beautiful, she was amazing….

That he was so proud that she was his mother.

He remembers how she smiled at him after he showed her his work. She praised him relentlessly and told him how proud she was. She talked about how once they got home they would find a way to get it framed and to have it put up in the house.

She wouldn’t stop talking about it until she got the phone call. The phone call from Dr. Smith about the tests she had done. About the relapse.

She never mentioned the drawing again after that.

Eren stared at the piece of paper now and suddenly hated it. He had always thought his mother was so perfect in that picture, but she wasn’t. She never was. Her body had been fighting it’s own self while he was drawing her.

Eren hated the idea that he had captured that moment in time.

Eren snapped out of his daze and realized that Dr. Smith was now tense. He, too, was staring at the drawing open on his lap. Eren quickly closed the book, feeling bad. His mom was such a close friend of Dr. Smith’s, he couldn’t even imagine how he felt.

The wind gave out another low, cold, sigh, and Eren wrapped the blanket tighter around him. He hadn’t even realized how drastically the weather had changed. September was always weird like that, it always started off so humid but then it suddenly turns into Autumn.

  _Isn’t Autumn such a wonderful season?_

That girl again. The one with the strawberry-blonde hair. She just won’t leave his head.

The wind softened in its next sigh, almost like a whisper. Eren felt the heart flutter. _Excitement._

He reached up to put a hand to his chest, his fingers brushing against the bandage. _Stop. Please._

_It’s sad. How we can go to places of everlasting peace, but then you realize you were just dreaming._

Eren’s breath hitched as he felt the heart thud. It vibrating in his ears, in his head. It pounded against his chest, faster, faster, faster.

Thud thud thud. The heart had a mind of its own.

_Wild is the wind._

“Eren!” Suddenly it stopped. Suddenly his heart had gone back to the steady rhythm it was supposed to beat at.

He realized he was turned towards Dr. Smith, who was examining him with a scared look on his face. He felt his cool hand against his forehead, and Eren couldn’t help but lean into the touch as he tried to get his breath back. 

“Look at me. Tell me where it hurts.” Eren looked up at him and shook his head. Nothing hurt, his body felt fine. It was his head that felt like it was just run over.

Dr. Smith seemed to understand something from that and nodded quickly removing his hand from Eren.

His breathing still came out in uneven breaths, and he could feel sweat leaking from his back despite the cold. He felt awful, but the heart seemed fine. Beating steadily and calmly like the little shit it was being.

“Just keep breathing kid. Keep breathing.” Dr. Smith murmured rubbing circles on his back. Eren glanced at him. He hated how worried he looked. Eren did tend to experience panic attacks every now and again, especially since his mother died; but he hadn’t had one quite like this before. This one felt different, but Eren couldn’t figure out why.

It was so frustrating. He was supposed to start getting better! Things were supposed to start looking up for him but things are making even less sense than they were.

It was that girl. The girl who loved strawberries and Autumn. Who was she?

Hot angry tears pricked at his eyes, and Eren wiped against them furiously. “I just wish I knew who she was..” He whispered not speaking to anyone in particular.

Dr. Smith’s hand stopped on his back, hesitating. Eren could feel his concern stare gazing down at him. “What do you mean?”

Eren shook his head again as his breathing finally seemed to be slowing down. He grabbed his sketchbook that had fallen to the ground, and slowly got himself off the bench.

“It’s nothing… I think I’m just tired.” He gave Dr. Smith the best reassuring look he could muster. It must have been 8:00 by now. The warm glow from the setting sun was now gone, with only a light residue left behind. All the other patients who were outside were also going in, followed by nurses and other visitors. Eren turned to look at Dr. Smith who was still looking at him with that same, concerned look. The main tilted his chin down towards him almost as if to ask “Are you going to be okay?”

Eren bit his lip but then decided to nod his head. He even gave the doctor a small, but still weak, smile.

That seemed to be enough for him at least because the man got up as well; brushing off his jacket. He grabbed the wheelchair that he had parked next to them and expectantly looked towards Eren so he could get in.

Eren let out a small groan, feigning annoyance that he had to get in that darn thing again; but he was fairly sure that if he tried to walk his legs would become jelly and he would topple over.

Eren got into the wheelchair, and Dr. Smith slowly pushed him back inside the hospital, blanket wrapped tightly around him and sketchbook placed on his lap once more.

 

~

 

Despite what had happened just the day before, Eren was up and ready early in the morning to leave. He was in his room with all his things. His presents were already waiting for him back at home. Mikasa and his dad had kindly carried them all the day before so there wouldn’t be as many things to worry about on the big day.

As Mikasa pushed him down the hallway in his wheelchair, much to Eren’s complaints, he waved to every nurse he could recognize. As much as he hated hospitals, he sure did love the kind and supportive staff.

They went down the elevator to the main floor, where Hanji, Dr. Smith, and his dad were already waiting for him. The two were talking to his dad in quiet voices, but there was no tension or worry there like there had been weeks before.

“Hey!” Eren greeted them as Mikasa brought him over to where they were standing. They all turned to look at him, all pairs of eyes tired looking, but happy.

“Eren!” Hanji exclaimed, rushing up towards him and ruffling his hair. “You are finally free!”

Eren chuckled, playfully swatting her arm away. “Yup. Finally.”

Hanji grinned at him before looking over to Mikasa. “I’m happy to see you guys go.” She said, before going over to give Mikasa a hug. His sister warmly accepted it, burying her head in Hanji’s shoulder. Eren heard her whisper thank you, her voice cracking slightly.

Eren turned to look back towards Dr. Smith and his dad. His dad looked far better than he did when he first saw him after the operation. Although his under eyes were still puffed with bags, they looked much less frantic and more relaxed. His signature ponytail was neat once again, and he was finally wearing different clothes. Eren remembered how his dad had sat by his bedside the entire first week, not going home once; no matter how much everyone persisted.

Eren couldn’t imagine the amount of stress he must have gone through. It must have been unbearable, thinking that you might lose another family member after losing one so recently. Eren was so grateful for him, along with Mikasa. He wouldn’t know what he would do if he were in their position.

Eren pushed those bad thoughts away and decided to just focus on his excitement. He reached a hand out towards his dad, smiling up at him.

“Hey.” He said, as his father grabbed his hand and slowly began to pull him to his feet. He looked over to Dr. Smith, wondering if the man wanted to complain about the wheelchair situation, but surprisingly, he didn’t.

“Eren.” His dad looked at him, and up and down his whole body like he was seeing him for the first time. Despite all his improvements, Eren knew he still didn’t look 100 percent. He had lost a lot of weight, his whole body feeling bony and frail. His skin, which used to be so tan from being outside so much, was much more sickly and pale. The biggest thing though was that his scar was now out in the open. It was hidden under the protection of the white t-shirt he was wearing, but it still felt like it was exposed.

All this didn’t seem to matter to his dad though. The very sight of his frail son, his kid that seemingly came back from the dead, made his face light up in joy and he embraced Eren in a way that he hadn’t done in so long.

Eren was shocked at first, his hands hovering over his dad’s back, but they eventually found themselves wrapped around his loving father.

The hug was gentle, but it was filled with so much emotion. It was strong but cautious; making sure not to harm Eren in any way. Eren felt like a child who had gotten lost in a mall but was then finally found by their frantic and worried parents.

Eren felt tears prickle in the corner of his eyes as he dug his head into the crook of his father’s neck. He smelled his usual smell; the one that smelled like mom but was mixed with his cologne. Eren also could sniff a hint of smoke. Although he knew his dad quit smoking years ago he had gotten back into the habit ever since mom died. Eren wrapped his arms around him tighter.

After a bit, they finally let go and gave each other tearful smiles. “I am so glad you are okay.” His father seemed to be saying that a lot recently; as if he had to keep saying it to reassure himself.

Eren understood why he needed that reassurance though. “I’m glad too, dad.”

His father stood close to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. Eren wanted to jokingly brush off the affection but decided that his legs were too shaky to complain.

Eren turned to look back at Hanji and Mikasa, who had departed from their hug. Both had soft smiles on their faces.

“Erwin…” Eren heard his dad start. He turned to look at the doctor who had been standing there quietly the whole time. The surgeon was very good at hiding his emotions, and Eren hardly ever saw him without his closed-off mask; so that’s why he saw his brows knit, and his eyes fill with the smallest amount of moisture…

“Grisha. Please don’t say anything.” Dr. Smith walked up to him and enrolled him in a big hug, his lanky arms wrapping around his frail father. The two stood in silence for a few seconds before departing, and just like that, Dr. Smith found his composure again.

“I don’t want to hear any more ‘thanks yous.’” He sternly told Grisha, but his mouth was twitched in a happy and warm smile. 

His dad looked like he wanted to say something but decided to listen to the man he considered a best friend.

Dr. Smith turned to Eren, his eyes inspecting him for the 563314th time. The doctor looked into Eren’s eyes, looking like he wanted to say something with parted lips, but stopped and just smiled at him too.

Eren had been worried that the doctor would bring up what had happened the night before but was glad that he didn’t and just gave Eren a hug and ruffled his hair.

“You know you are my favourite patient, right?” The doctor jokingly asked, and Eren rolled his eyes in an exaggerated fashion.

“You’re such a softie, I’m sure you say that to all your patients.” Eren grinned at him. “But thank you, I know I’m pretty awesome.”

The doctor chuckled, rolling his eyes. “I’m just glad I won’t have to hear you complain about how much you hate your room anymore.”

The five of them began to walk towards the entrance of the hospital, exchanging their last goodbyes.

“Keep taking your medication, Eren.” Dr. Smith told him. “Also if you feel sick in the _slightest_ way, make sure you get back here. We have to be wary of any sign that your body is rejecting your new heart.”

“Right Eren, if you have a fever, nausea, dizziness, if you pass out, you need to tell me immediately. No more lying about your pain levels.” His dad scolded him. Eren did have a tendency of hiding things from his dad, especially when it came to his physical well-being.

“Yeah, yeah. I get it. You lot have told me enough times.” He felt Mikasa swat him on the shoulder, and he turned to look at her with an annoyed glare. “Um, ow?!”

“Be nice Eren. Mikasa has been pretty lonely without her older brother to bully.” He heard his dad chuckle, and Eren spun around to glare at him. “Be nice? She was the one that hit me!”

“Okay you two, get your butts outta here.” Hanji almost pushed them out the building, with their dad and Dr. Smith trailing behind.

The three of them finally got into their car, Mikasa even let him have shotgun. Dr. Smith and Hanji were already turning in back into the building. His dad had made them promise to come over for dinner for Thanksgiving, which Eren was already looking forward to. He was definitely going to miss their company and supporting attitudes. They had helped him so much, Eren felt as if he needed to thank them for a thousand years.

But nothing could stop Eren’s happiness on leaving. He excitedly watched as they left the hospital parking lot. He was thrilled to see all the autumn trees they passed on their way to the house. He went by his school, the park he would go to with his friends, the grocery store... 

Eren looked to see all the people in their fall coats and hats. The weather dropping, the sun was setting, the air had that very specific smell that only came around in autumn. The smell that appeared every year, the smell that was covered in that feeling of utter nostalgia. Of pumpkin picking, windy weather, of horror movies and hot chocolate…

As they pulled up the driveway to their little townhouse, Eren felt feelings of both eagerness, but nervousness.

How long would it take him to adjust to how things used to be?

Mikasa and his dad carried all his things into the main foyer of their house, which had not changed at all since he left. His shoes were still sprawled on the mat like they always were, the closet was open showing the fall jackets that were now being stored there, the picture of his mom that hung in the entrance…

The heart hurt.

Eren followed Mikasa and his and his dad upstairs into his room. They turned down the hallway where they had Sunflowers by Van Gogh hanging. He walked by Mikasa’s room, which was neat and tidy as always. Once they got to Eren’s room, he felt his insides go warm when he saw all the balloons and gifts from his friends which covered the whole place.

There were teddy bears on his desk, balloons hanging over his bed, get well soon cards displayed on his bookshelf, but besides that everything was kept the same.

Eren’s art supplies were still safe in the box next to his desk, his school bag was still in his closet along with all his clothes. His bed, which was actually made for once, still had that same blue and white duvet with the warm and fuzzy matching throw blanket…

It was his room. He was finally back.

Mikasa and his dad set his remanding things down and turned to Eren. He smiled happily at them. “It’s so good to be back.”

“It definitely is.” His dad patted his head as he too, looked around the room to see the crazy amount of scattered presents. “You really have great friends.”

Eren hummed in response. He was already looking forward to going back to school to see them all again, but who knew when that would be. He was still bedridden for the most part; still in the recovery phase. He knew it would be at least a month before he could convince his dad to go back to school.

Which reminded him, he had so many teachers to email. Eren groaned. They were all very aware of his situation and were all sending their support, but Eren was a senior in high school and simply couldn’t miss out on all that schoolwork. Universities were watching now, after all.

Eren walked over to his belongings he brought from the hospitl, and found his laptop sitting among them. He grabbed them and plopped on his bed with it. “I better answer any emails I have now since I’ve been avoiding them for so long.” He told his sister and dad.

“Whatever you want to do, Eren.” His dad told him. “I’m going to get started on dinner. Maybe make some lasagna.” Eren fist pumped. His favourite meal on his first day back. 

“I’ll help you.” Mikasa said, setting the last thing down in Eren’s room. “Don’t really fancy the smoke detector going off today.” Their dad rolled his eyes, exclaiming something about how he could handle himself, but all three of them knew that was a blatant lie. The only thing he could cook by himself was grilled cheese.

Eren laughed, putting his legs up to cross them. “You two have fun then, I’m just going to catch up on things here, maybe take a pre-food nap.”

They both nodded, Mikasa coming over to give him one last side hug, and his dad another ruffle to the hair.

“Holler if you need anything, and don’t close the door all the way. Leave it open a bit.” His dad said, following Mikasa out of the room.

Eren huffed, feeling annoyed that his dad was probably going to have stupid rules like this from now on, but nonetheless he obliged.

His dad turned to close the door part way, when Eren felt the need to call out for him again. “Dad.” His father quickly turned to look at him, making sure that nothing bad had happened in the short time his back was turned. Eren wrung his fingers. “I just wanted to say… thank you. Thank you for… you know.” He was at a lost of words. 

His father seemed to understand what he was trying to say though. He gave him a small smile, a sad but relieved look in his eyes. “Families don’t say thank you, Eren.”

A saying that his mom used to use all the time. She would never let anyone she loved thank them for anything, and would always respond with that phrase. His mother valued family more than anything else in her life, and always took care of people she loved so, delicately. That was one of the things he missed most about her.

Eren didn’t know how to respond to his father. He was shocked that the common phrase that was once used by his mother was said again, but also happy that his father was carrying that value from his wife.

“I love you, dad.” Was all he could come up with. He hated how weak and sad his voice sounded, but there was nothing he could do to prevent that.

“I love you too, Eren.” His dad said. He gave him a small smile one last time, before closing the door; leaving it open with the smallest crack.

Once he heard his dad’s footsteps go down the hall and down the stairs, Eren stretched his arms out and fell back on his matress. He felt the fluffy throw blanket from under him, it’s warmth oozing itself into his skin. He turned over to his side to smell his comforter. It smelled like laundry detergent, freshly washed. Mikasa must have done that while he was in the hospital.

His eyes moved up to stare at the painting that was hanging over his bed. It was a Picasso piece, The Old Guitarist. It used to be in his mom and dad’s room over their bed. He had memories of jumping uptop their bed, bouncing so he could catch glimpses of the painting. He would be so fascinated by it. He would always wonder what the story of the old man in the painting was, his odd position, his frail bones… Who was he? What was the song he was strumming?

His mother saw how much he loved the painting so one day, after school when he was around 12 years old, he came home to see it hanging above his bed. He was so happy.

_It seems like a moment that existed in another life…_

Why was he feeling like this again? He had counted down the minutes to this moment for so long. He could finally say he was home, he could finally be with his family again.

His family… just the three of them. Just the three of them forever. Eren’s hand reached up subconsciously to grab for his chest.

He was back home. A home with just the three of them. A home without his mother.

A home without his mother.

What would have happened if he had died? Mikasa and his father would be all alone. Their family would have been officially cut in half.

The heart took a mind of it’s own again, it began to thud, and thud, and thud…

What would he have done if there was no heart for him to take? If he didn’t have the amazing team of medical staff at his side? If he didn’t have Dr. Smith, Hanji, his friends…

Who would he be?

_Like a leaf clings to the tree_

He would be no one. He would have been no one, if they didn’t die for him…

_Oh my darling, cling to me_

If that girl. If that girl’s heart wasn’t beating inside of him. That poor girl…

Thud. Thud. Thud.

Someone had to suffer for him. Many people had to suffer for him.

Eren let out a sob, which he quickly covered with his hand. Tears were streaming down his cheeks as he weeped. He cried, cried for the ones he missed.

For the person he missed.

_For we’re creatures of the wind._

The tears wouldn’t stop, the ache in his chest was hot, it was overwhelming, it was consuming, it took over his consciousness, it took away all his senses.

It controlled him. This ache, this pain, the need for that person, but who? Was it his mother? That didn’t seem right, this was too intense, this kind of love was different…

Eren needed him. He missed him so much.

_And wild is the wind._

_Wild is the wind._

_Wild is the wind._  

_Wild is the wind._

 

_Wild is the wind._

 

Eren sat up with a start, another sob escaping his lips as he grabbed for his chest. The thudding was fast, it was so fast, it came so quickly. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he could do nothing but be crippled by this emotion. This intense, strong, need, love…

His mind finally cleared. He appeared in his mind. There he was. The one he was searching for. The one he was waiting for.

He could finally see him.

 

“Levi.” Eren whispered.


End file.
